


I Don't Know if I Can Pretend

by virghoe



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Drunk Sex, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, How exciting, im just kinda fuckin around right now, just u know..., sinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-11 04:26:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4421282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virghoe/pseuds/virghoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and Barry have to pretend to be in a "very committed relationship" to live in some hoity-toity apartment complex, chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why did you do that

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kinda just fuckin around right now and fake dating AUs always get me

You were getting a little too much enjoyment out of laying on your horn. But in your defense it was because Barry was going to make you late, and this was the quickest and most effective way of speeding him up. You had no chance at getting this apartment if you showed up late, the woman even _sounded_ straight laced when you talked to her on the phone. This hoity-toity apartment complex was new territory for you and Barry, who were far from, well, anything these people were. But you knew how to clean up. You tucked and smoothed yourself into a professional form, everything “stray” on you glued to your silhouette. And as you conducted this extreme makeover you rehearsed the script you had been writing all night. You taught “extracurricular artistic endeavors” while you mainly worked in the “service industry”, and Barry worked as a “freelance editor” mainly in “social media branding”. These all sounded better than the pair that you were, a community center art teacher who worked at a TGI Friday’s, and a guy who edited pictures of a wolf handjob on videos for the internet.

  
After you had thought this over about twenty times, not realizing you had still been on the horn for that duration, Barry came scrambling out. Although after knowing each other for so long, this is the first time you had seen him dressed remotely formal. While completely scattered as a person, he knew how to pull things together when they needed to be, himself included. When finally inside the car he allowed himself to sigh,

  
“You ready?”,

  
“Are you?” he looked nervous, and he wasn’t good about hiding it. After a very unconvincing nod, he tried shooting you a smile, it was crooked and eyes non matching.

  
“Hey, it’s ok if we don’t get this one, there are others”

  
“But we’ve been hunting for months” he threw his head back against the seat, clearly frustrated with himself. You pushed your mouth to the side and looked at him,

  
“It’s gonna be ok” this was not satisfying to anyone, but you had to get going. I guess at this point it sounds like you and Barry were together. You weren’t. You had just been friends since, well, now that you thought about it, you really could remember how you had met. Most likely it was through work or a party or maybe some sort of thing where maybe you ran into him on the street. But anyways, you both decided to move in with each other when you realized that you needed a place closer to downtown LA and he realized that the gas money he was spending driving to your place so frequently was getting a bit absurd. Living together made _sense_ and you were eager to do it.

  
The place you had found was gorgeous. It was part of a very uppity complex, filled with the type of people who probably never tipped the full 15% and probably never cleaned their dog’s shit from a poorer neighborhoods yard. But you and Barry were willing to keep to yourself and just _subtly_ hate your neighbors, you couldn’t see yourself being a problem to these people, you both were relatively quiet and polite enough in small doses. The apartment fell directly into the very small cross space of the ideal size, price, and location, so you had to take it. It was described to be for “up and comers” which you generously described yourselves as. If you could play the part for a 30 minute interview, you were golden.

  
It wasn’t long before you were alone in the complex owner’s office. Barry and you were placed in two chairs that had a way of making you feel claustrophobic. The dust that swirled through the air caught in the light and made it feel hard to breathe. As cool as you were before, you started to understand Barry. But you assured him it would be ok, you were going to do the talking. Barry had a bad habit of stuttering too harshly over himself that you just assumed it would be easier if you talked. Not that you were anymore qualified, but you had a way of being more direct in how you spoke. Before the air almost began to freeze over both of you, the door swung open to let an older woman walk in. As you straightened yourself in your seat, and motioned for Barry to do so as well, you observed her. She had the mouth of a smoker, but not a smoker that was casual and calm, the one that smoked imported cigarettes and had a Swarovski ashtray next to her issues of Home & Gardens. She stacked her papers twice and let a smile slither over her lips, patchy lipstick showing its gaps.

  
“Hello, I’m Joyce. I’m the complex administrator” her voice was bitter like whiskey.

  
“Hi, I’m (y/n) and this is Barry” you let your phone call voice take over, grotesquely artificial. You had to dart your eyes at Barry, you could _feel_ him starting to laugh. Most of the interview went well, you used your well composed script to an exact science and she feasted on it. Confidence was easy by the end.

  
“And, correct me if I’m wrong, there are two bedrooms in the apartment?” you had never seen a smile fall flat so quickly before,

  
“Well, it’s supposed to be an office, but I suppose yes, it could be a bedroom” a suspicious, almost nervous smile snuck in with her words.

  
“You both seem lovely, you do, but I’m afraid we prefer if this apartment goes to a serious couple- as it says in our morality clause” you must have missed that. With this thoroughly condescending, yet gentle denial you saw Barry’s face conflict over which emotion it wanted to display, initial disappointment, stress over _another_ search, or just defeat. All in that instant, you decided you didn’t want to see him like that again.

  
“Oh, but we are a couple” you interjected nervously, and Barry’s eyes widened as much as they could without giving anything away.

“Really?” Joyce asked with a raise in her brows, tongue dragging over the "l"s ,

  
“But the bedroom?” she continued, only slightly losing her composure to confusion.

  
“Oh, uh, for a little one” your improvisation was amazing today, only with a slight fumble, you found Barry’s hand. As tenderly as you could, you caressed it. His face was priceless looking back on it.

  
“Barry and I, well, we’re in a very committed relationship. And when the time comes for a baby, we want to be ready” now that you knew your objective, it was easy to play the part.

  
“Oh, how wonderful!” This time a genuine smile stretched the wrinkles in Joyce’s face. Pressing her palms together she let herself think for a moment, her eyes moved with her train of thought and after a silence with building anticipation, she began to scribble something in her note pad before she continued,

  
“Well, with all this news, I’m afraid i just couldn’t possibly turn you down. We’ll do the paperwork later, but for now, go celebrate!” She had to be the most artificial woman you had ever met, but if you knew women like her, which you did, you knew what always struck a chord with them was children.

  
“Oh, thank you so much!” you gushed to her, part of your relief real. After finding a way out of the office you and Barry made your way to the car as quickly as you could without running.When you slid in, waves of breath ran through your body, you turned to Barry with a large grin,

  
“We did it!” you were almost laughing,

  
“Are you kidding? What were you thinking?” While you weren’t expecting it, Barry’s distress was understandable. He ran his hand through his hair in some sort of nervous tick,

  
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s gonna be ok. We’ll figure it out!” You were trying to keep positive about this, but it was finally setting in what kind of shit you had just gotten yourself into.

  
“We’re not going to have a kid, (y/n)! How are we gonna do this?” his concern was valid, so you tried to figure something out as you spoke.

  
“L-look, we can get the place. Be couple-y when the neighbors talk to us, or whatever, and if anyone asks about a baby, just tell them we haven’t quite figured it out yet!” you were smiling, just so you could get him to smile. By the time his breaths calmed he found what he wanted to say,

  
“I guess- I guess we could do that” he was looking at you now, his brows raised in an almost innocent way.

  
“We can do it” you said in your most reassuring voice.

  
“Now that we have the place, let’s go home and pack” now that the plan had been settled in your mind, you were trying to grasp that this was something you were _actually_ doing. But it was good you were doing it with Barry, you two had been through so much together, you wouldn’t be too unfamiliar to make this work. And as the day progressed, you were convincing yourself more and more that, hey, this might even be fun.


	2. The New Couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry needs to figure out what is and isn't acceptable here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gooooood i already love writing this. It's super non directional, but i love it. I just love writing fucking dorks falling in love with out even realizing it oh my gooooooood

The California sun had a way of shining it’s hardest on the most inconvenient days, this time, your moving day. Rounding up your friends, with a reward of pizza at the end, you all tried to hurry the process so you didn’t, I don’t know, _die_ in the sweltering heat. By the time you finished, you all had laid yourself across whatever crooked furniture was put together.

  
“Where’s that pizza?” Dan moaned in his most child-like manner, face smushed into the sofa, the rest of his body teetering on the arm rest.

  
“Yeah” extended Arin, who laid sprawled across the floor. You shot Barry a look from across the room, he sat hunched on a cooler, rubbing out the cramps in his legs. You sat in your torn faux leather chair, one leg hooked on the back and the other on the arm. After a moment of absorbing the last few seconds you had of rest before _actually_ having to act on that promise you made earlier, you shoved your hand down your back pocket fumbling over your phone, and called for the pizza. After an on-call argument with the group about what toppings they wanted, you hung up, and forced yourself out of the chair.

  
“Thank you” Arin and Dan chorused, while Kevin, Ross, and Suzy all gave their individual thank you’s, nothing too extravagant, just a simple variation of an old classic. While you gathered your keys and money you heard Barry groan and stretch himself out, while you loved the guy, you wondered why he always was stretching and coughing just _so_ loudly. Before you could make your way out the door, Barry came trailing behind you.

  
“What are you doing?” you asked, a bit more disgusted sounding than you actually meant it.

  
“I’m coming with you” he said simply. With a shrug you opened the door and turned back to the group of people strewn across your new apartment.

  
“Hey we’re heading out to get the pizza, don’t be stupid” Ross shot his thumb up into the air, and that was enough for you to let yourself leave. As you locked the door behind you, admiring the new key because, _this was actually your place_ , you heard another door opening.

  
“Oh, hello!” a voice that was definitely not Barry’s sounded, with a quick turn you faced the new voice. It was a man, tall and blonde, hair slicked back and torso tucked into a sweater. He looked like what any mom would call a “nice young man”.

  
“Uh-hi!” you let the two syllables blend together, putting your hand out to him, Barry stood awkward and pressed to himself. As you shook your new neighbor’s hand, his eyes darted between you two. When you returned to your position besides Barry, he let a moment catch in his throat before he continued.

  
“I’m Tim, I live right here. I was just coming out to, well, say hello” this guy was so Mr.Rogers, his hands crossed in front of his body, a ball of palms pressed against his abdomen. He let another moment of silence pass.

  
“Well, you both seem like a lovely couple” he said, one of his tied up hands shooting out to gesture to you, but immediately returning. It was then you remembered what you were doing here, and you quickly, and not as smoothly as you’d like, found Barry’s hand. With a soccer mom laugh you continued,

  
“Oh, uh, thank you” you smiled at him. With this he seemed to loosen.

  
“Well, me and the wife here, we’ve been looking for a new couple to do brunch with, so you know, if you’re interested-”

  
“Oh yeah! Just uh, you know, we’ll be here” he let out a hearty chortle, and you and Barry nervously laughed along, while Tim was caught up in his own laugh you turned to Barry with nervous eyes. Barry then moved his arm around your shoulder and brought you in closer. Laying your head on him, you awkwardly put a palm to his chest, God, now that you had to think about being a couple, it was so hard to think about what couples _actually_ do. After letting him see you like this for a minute, he continued.

  
“Well, ok, I’ll let you get going, just wanted to introduce myself, see you around- uh…”

  
“Barry” Barry finally said, a croak in his voice, naturally.

  
“(y/n)” you added, Tim smiled again and turned to his door repeating,

  
“See you around!” both of you mumbled some sort of response as you booked it down the stairs. Once out on the concrete in front of the building you turned to each other, after the initial silence, Barry let a snort catch in his mouth, and you couldn’t help but follow laughing. You lazily moved to him again, head laid on his chest.

  
“What are we doing” you laughed again, voice muffled by, well, him.

  
“You tell me” he said down to you,

"God..." he sighed,

"We have to see him again now" and with that, and a palm to your back, you walked to the car.

  
\---

  
When you came back with the pizza, you and Barry stumbled upon your friends arguing over how to put together a couch. Once you got everything settled, you ate. And they all “conveniently” found a way of leaving after that. But you couldn’t blame them, you would’ve done the same thing. Once they were gone you both started conducting yourselves about spending your first night in an apartment together. Yes, you had both spent the night at each others places before, but this had a very different feeling. Barry was going to hear every unattractive sound you had to make, and he was bound to see you at some personal lows, and vice versa. You tried to be as polite as possible, knowing somehow this would all fade. Clad in your pajamas, you went to Barry to tell him goodnight. He was in his room setting up still, placing every knick knack he had, and pinning every poster, you knocked on the door frame to get his attention.

  
“Hey, I’m going to bed” you said gently, your voice was light, it was easier to talk like this.

  
“Oh, uh, before you go” Barry said putting down whatever he was doing, and sitting on the bed. He motioned for you to sit, and when you did you felt the blanket, wondering how long he had it because it felt ancient.

  
“So, I was uh, wondering if I could practice how like-I, well, I guess _we_ should, uh, touch each other. When we’re like, doing the thing” You always liked the clunky yet rhythmic way Barry talked. You liked how he stuttered, it showed how much was going through his brain at that moment to actually find words to say to you. It felt like he cared about talking, which you guess you never really thought for anyone else. Before you could get caught up in thinking about that too intensely, you had to answer his question.

  
“Oh, uh yeah” he smiled that pressed smile he had, and you tried to reflect it. He let himself think for a bit before he did anything, while you liked his stuttering, it was obvious he didn’t. He put his hand on your shoulder, rather timidly, and you couldn’t hold your laugh, he joined in and leaned forward, you ruffled his hair.

  
“To make this easy, I’ll just let you know that I consent to most anything for this deal. I trust you not to abuse that power.” With the last statement you rose your eyebrow at him, then let another sharp exhale tied with laughter release. To think about him even trying to be, I don’t know, _like that_ was just hilarious.

  
“God, never” he scoffed. And you looked at each other for a minute, in the dim lighting, you noticed how nice of eyes Barry actually had. It never occurred to you that they were blue, but they were, and they were round, and they slopped in so pointedly. They had harsh hoods that engulfed the lid, and brows that settled firmly on top. He had soft features masked in hair, and a smile that was crooked. But it was handsome, _he_ was handsome. You hadn’t really noticed before. You had been looking at him too long, and when you realized that you scrambled to pick yourself back up of the bed and move to the doorway,

  
“Good talk” you said as you made your way out of the room.

  
“(y/n)?” Barry called after you, you turned back to face him.

  
“Goodnight” he said, pushing his mouth to the side, but a smile quirking up his lip, you let a smile spread on your lips as well, and slumped against the doorway.

  
“Goodnight, _roomie_ ”


	3. Are You Fucking Crazy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is disappointed in Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) has a crush on barrrryyyyy, lmao. Also i tried like some multiple perspective stuff so like i hope you guys could understand it??

You had to take yourself back around the wall. As quietly you could manage in that amount of time, you flattened yourself on the wall, a little afraid of what you just saw. Well, not afraid, but just so… God, how do you put it, shocked? Basically, Barry was shirtless and in pajama pants, hair wild, and cooking eggs and bacon. And you really shouldn’t be phased because let’s be real, _it’s Barry_. But something about him right now seemed so private, like this was only meant for the eyes of a girlfriend, which coincidentally you had to be playing the part of. After rushed deliberation, you decided you should go do some research on the role.

  
“Hey Bear” he hated nicknames.

  
“Hey sweetums” you hated pet names, and he was ready to act on that, especially with this whole plan you two had started. The hum of his voice was low and sweet, a smile shaping the words. He was mostly focused on his cooking, but he let his eyes drift enough for them to want to dart directly back to the pan.

  
“Nice PJs” he was a little choked up, like usual, but this time he sounded like he had a reason. He did, in the middle of the night you removed your pajama pants, so you only wore a large t shirt and panties. As shitty of an excuse it was, you had just forgotten that you were so promiscuous when you slept. Rather than try to cover up, you crossed your thigh in front of yourself, trying to stay composed.

  
“Oh, uh, yeah. I guess you should get used to this?” your laugh was nervous, but you were trying to be honest with him. Old habits die hard, he _should_ get used to your ass.

  
“It’s fine, I mean…” he motioned over himself with the spatula, as if you could forget he was shirtless. Well, purely because it was so strange to see him that way. Before you could distract yourself for too long, you started figuring out your day. You sat with a coffee at your new breakfast counter, and while watching the creamer mix you thought out your day. 11-2 you taught back to back classes, 2 painting, 1 pottery. At 4 you started your shift at Fridays and worked until 9 that night, you’d have someone cover you for clean up. When you thought it through, before you could even ask _yourself_ , you asked Barry:

  
“Hey, do you want me to bring you guys something from Friday’s tonight?” he looked up from his pan and hesitated a moment.

  
“Yeah, uh, get me some fried pickles” he said, looking back to his pan. You nodded and added that to the agenda, however it was expected. Food or not, you always ended up back at Barry’s office after work. Living together didn’t change that. Realizing that it was almost 10 now you hurried yourself up to get ready, shoving some random outfit under your arm, you jumped to the shower.

  
You sang in the shower, loud. And Barry heard. Barry loved hearing you sing, and had been secretly eager for it when you moved in together. In short, Barry liked you. Like, _liked you_ , liked you. But of course you didn’t know that, he was very secretive about how he maneuvered this, at least with you. Ask any of your friends and they would groan at the prospect. Yes, they were rooting for you two, but were so insanely frustrated with Barry’s cold feet, that they couldn’t help but sigh when he was so forlorn. When he first brought up how you two were moving in together, Dan nearly hit him.

  
“Are you fucking crazy?” Dan wasn’t shouting, but he easily could’ve, with all this stupidity condensed into one idea, and Barry knew it.

  
“Look, I think it’ll be fine, it was _her_ idea” Barry said back trying to sound reasonable, but his stutter caught his lie.

  
“Yeah, because she doesn’t know you are in _love_ with her” Ross continued, and if Ross was being reasonable, something was fucked.

  
“I don’t love her” Barry pushed out the “L” word with a bit of theatricality, to prove how ridiculous that was. Dan placed his hand on Barry’s shoulder, and gave him a pushed off glance. Sympathetic eyes gathered on Barry, before he could get too uncomfortable he moved to his desk.

  
Barry tried not to bring you up very often because of this. But in moments like this, he liked to indulge himself, letting his feelings fester a bit before he had to return to his “best friend” role. He liked how you would belt a certain song, but once you got confused on the lyrics your voice would trail off, he guessed you never knew how loud you actually were. It was a visible stiffness that shot through his body once he heard the water turn off. You two wouldn’t see each other for most of that morning, but once you made your way to head out the door, you saw he left you a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich, with a little hot sauce. You hadn’t really remembered telling him you liked this, but he just somehow figured it out.

  
“Thank you!” you said mouth stuffed as you rushed out the door, and Barry nodded in response. He let himself sigh before he continued with getting ready.

  
Days were slow for both of you. You lazily drifted through lessons, one after another with the, let’s call them “unique”, crowd that attended community center art classes. It wasn’t difficult, but it wasn’t exciting either. And Friday’s was Friday’s, mediocre food and average clientele. You were good at putting on a face, though. So tips were good. Personable was always a starred attribute on any skill set you had ever made, and you had the money to back it up. Barry’s day wasn’t too exciting either. While in general he had an amazing job, basically playing video games for a living, there was a lot of necessary bullshit sandwiched in between. He was the editor, so he had to spend hours going crazy listening to the same audio backwards and forwards over and over, but it was a good living. And he was good at doing it.

  
When he found a good stopping point, he decided to reward himself with a break. He let the radiation seep into his skin while he thought about exactly how fucked he was, he had to pretend to be dating you, someone he _actually did like_. Barry was proving to himself that he was the master of getting himself emotionally screwed over. Still caught in his thought, Dan came strolling in after a playthrough.

  
“Hey Barry” he said lightly, grabbing a drink from the fridge.

  
“Hey” Barry said lifelessly, not putting any effort into delivery, but it sounded a little melodramatic.

  
“You ok?” Dan rose a brow at him,

  
“Yeah, I’m good” Barry tried lifting himself, and a grunt caught his words.

  
“You don’t look good” Dan now stood in front of Barry, hands on his hip and a little motherly.

  
“Yeah, well, y’know, (y/n) things” Barry continued sighing with his confession. Dan gave him the same sympathetic look he always did when Barry brought you up. And Barry _hated_ it. His eyes almost read “ _What is it this time?_ ”.

  
“Look, it’s fine. We just- God, t-this sounds so weird, like, we have to pretend to be dating because of, like, the landlord we have” Dan ignored a lot of the questions that first arose in his mind when this concept was brought up and jumped to the most pressing one,

  
“Are you fucking crazy?” Barry had to be wondering that himself.

  
“I know, it’s fucked” Barry sighed once more, he couldn’t defend himself any longer, he made a bad decision. Rather than play 20 questions with Barry, Dan just stood next to him, and ruffled his hair in a brotherly manner. Dan wasn’t good about comforting people in this way. When the microwave beeped, Barry took this as a good sign to get back to work.   
Hours pushed by slowly, but once you were able to leave, pickle chips in hand, time found a way to speed itself back up. You strolled into the office casually, and were greeted by sloppily taped together, not very enthusiastic forms of your name.

  
“Hey” you said back to everyone and no one. You walked over to Barry’s desk and tossed his appetizer, which had probably gotten cold, in his lap. He jolted towards you and smiled, pushing his headphones down his neck.

  
“Thanks” he said a slight laugh tinging his voice,

  
“No problem, _roomie”_ you liked to coo with that word, you liked how it made Barry smile. He looked tired, the hammock areas below his eyes had deepened in color, and his overall form had just compressed back into the chair. You dusted off his shoulder, and found your hand lingering on the fabric of his shirt. Once it hit you that you really can’t touch people like that, you retracted your hand, but you didn’t offend Barry, he never seemed to mind when you touched him. This may be your favorite thing about him. You had always been a very physical person in how you interact in general, which is off putting to most anyone, but he was understanding, and let you be yourself in that aspect, and many others. Barry took your flaws the way you took his, but if you were to look back on it, he always seemed to take on more. You were grateful to have him in your life. Before you could spend more time thinking about the structure of yours and Barry’s friendship, he spoke up, swiping his keys from the desk.

  
“I kinda want to head out early tonight, I’m done all my stuff so…”

  
“That sounds good” you nodded back, to think of it, you were tired, and maybe interacting with more people than Barry would be a little strenuous. You waved your goodbyes, almost as if it were a family reunion, and walked out with Barry. You piled into your individual cars and followed each other home, he liked to find ways to get ahead of you in traffic, and you played along, as vaguely illegal as that is. You both got home at the same time, but Barry edging you out by a minute or two.

  
“Suck it, loser” he laughed as he walked to you, hands shoved in his pockets, standing oh-so confidently while you pulled yourself out of the car. Once you were close enough he swung an arm around you, in the manner he often had, friendly and casual. Before he could jab at you more, you felt a quick kiss to your temple. You looked back to him with a confused look. Not that you were offended, you were just... startled? You actually didn't know how you felt, just nothing, well, negative.

  
“Oh, uh, I saw someone looking and I- I don’t know. I just got nervous” Barry was stuttering, unhooking himself from you. You stopped his arm from moving. 

  
“It’s ok, you’re just doing your job” you laughed a bit at the word “job”. You both mosied into the building. And you let him remove himself from you, the coast was clear. But little had you known, there wasn’t anyone outside looking, Barry’s improv skills had just taken a dramatic spike in improvement.


	4. The Cunninghams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acting is confusing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHH. ok sorry if this seems a little implausible idk what im doing im just fuckin around rn.

You never really saw the purpose in fancy cards, but it wasn’t above the people in this complex to invest in them. You would find this out after shuffling through the mail one morning, you had been invited to brunch with The Cunninghams, or Tim from next door.

  
“Honey” you extended in a nasal voice to call for Barry, he lifted his head from the computer responding back with just as much sarcasm,

  
“What is it dear?”

  
“We have to go to brunch with Tim from next door and his wife…” you’d squint at the note to read out her name,

  
“Taylee” and while you know you shouldn’t judge, you couldn’t help but let a slightly repulsed look scrunch your face.

  
“We can’t go to that, are you kidding me?” Barry’s eyes didn’t leave the screen, he assumed you were going to brush this off as well.

  
“Well, we kinda have to” You shrugged at him, if you didn’t go, you looked suspicious. And you couldn’t risk that.

  
“Look, I don’t mind doing this thing in like, small doses, but they’re gonna figure us out in the first five minutes” Barry stood up while explaining this to you, walking over and looking at you straight on. Something about him seemed vaguely hurt, you interpreted this into just the nervousness he had in general surrounding this idea, a nervousness that was understandable.

  
“But if we don’t go that looks even worse. Barry, it will be _fine_. I’ll do the talking, like usual, and they wont suspect a thing” you tried to talk this out slowly, to calm Barry, but in the end you sounded like you were dumbing things down for him. Not your intention.

  
“B-B-But then we’re going to have to see them, like, all the time” Barry’s stutter only got worse when he was mad, all that emotion funneled words over top of each other and just made his mouth have to catch up with his brain.

  
“I can make it so we’re convincing, but still unbearable to be around” you spoke firmly, but you were not too keen on that promise. You took theater classes in high school but this was a little more risky, never the less you had to put on your most convincing face for Barry. He fell for it.

  
“Ok, ok, when do we have to see _The Cunninghams_ ” he rolled on that word for a minute, adding an ambiguously european accent to it. This was a good sign, he was getting more comfortable with the idea.

  
“Saturday at noon” you said flipping through the rest of your mail, you’d look up once more to make eye contact with Barry, who was pressing his lips. You quirked your lip for a slight smile, and he couldn’t resist returning it. You let your teeth peak through with a slight laugh, and he followed.

  
\---

  
“How do I look?” Barry had emerged from his room sporting a white casual button up, sleeves rolled just above his elbows, and grey jeans that passed as dressy enough for a brunch. You looked at how well the shirt fit him, there was breathing room, of course, but it traced his torso so well, and you didn’t know what it was about dress shirts pushed up the arm, but God, it was good looking. But all in that gaze you realized it was Barry you were talking about, you suddenly felt… ashamed (?) of yourself for thinking those things about him, I mean, it was _Barry_.

  
“Great” you said, physically trying to shake the thought from yourself, a little dramatic of movement since you assumed you had been staring at Barry slowly beforehand, however he didn’t seem to question it.

  
“Well, you’re looking good as always” he said passing you to go to the kitchen, and you finished putting on your necklace, or at least trying to. The clasps were hell on your stubby fingers and, to be frank, you were a little caught up in watching Barry walk to the kitchen. Something about this outfit shaped him really well, not that he normally looked bad, but a t shirt and his normally baggy jeans were not doing his body complete justice. When he returned he let out a sigh mixed with a laugh at you fumbling over your necklace,

  
“I got it” he said simply, walking over to you and taking the necklace, placing it around your neck while you held your hair. It was easy enough for him, but not for you. Your breathing hitched when his hand brushed your shoulder, laying the necklace on you. What was up with you this morning? Something about you had been so very highschool. You had to keep repeating to yourself, _it’s Barry_. But when the method of completely ignoring him fell flat in the first, I don’t know, five seconds, you just tried to accept that yes, _Barry looked hot today_.

  
But that was merely a small aspect of today, when you had to get your head into the space of putting on a performance for these neighbors, you were all business. However you let part of the plan be up to your imagination, you trusted your gut to make the right decision when the time came. When you knocked on The Cunninghams’ door, a part of you glanced back to your own door, but no, you couldn’t do that. You were far, far too deep to do that.

  
“Hello!” a blonde woman with features like silly putty said when the door was finally opened. She stood like she had a carrot up her ass, and had her hands folded in front of her, her elbows out, she was an editor’s page picture from any generic cooking magazine.

  
“Nice to finally meet you” you said matching her enthusiasm, and the wideness of her smile. Barry’s was slight, and humble.

  
“Well come on in!” she said, turning precisely on a pivot into her home. She walked with purpose, all the way to a table bathed in daylight. At it sat Tim, faced buried in a newspaper, apparently he was the one keeping the industry alive. With a punctuated fold he stood up, a sailor’s smile pushing out his cheek.

  
“Good to see you again” his voice was all chest, and he stuck out a hand for Barry to shake, which he took, sloppily at first but with a smooth recovery. You and Barry took your seats at the table, everything so perfect you felt wrong unfolding your napkins. When the couple sat themselves across from you, Taylee looked at you with a pursed smile, and a giddy sigh.

  
“We are just so thrilled to have a new couple in the neighborhood” she said taking Tim’s hand. It just occured to you, they both had the same first initial. Barf.

  
“Yes, Taylee and I have been feeling a little out of place here, as nice as it is, the community is a bit older” Tim had weird eye contact, it was friendly, but had an underlying tone of aggression. You smiled, but you could tell you probably came off a little strained, you tried to lighten yourself with conversation.

  
“Yes, well, Barry and I wanted a place that would give us some solitude” you were brilliant, if you were being honest with yourself. This was polite enough of a response that made you seem like an authentic couple, but off-putting enough to make Tim and Taylee uncomfortable. If you kept up this tone they would believe you, but never want you there again.

  
“You see, me and (y/n) here are just so infatuated with each other, we don’t really enjoy a lot of company” Barry said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. _Barry_. Your statement before was so well calculated, and Barry had just thrown it overboard. He was being too artificial, honestly, who the fuck would say that? But you couldn’t blame him, again he wasn’t good at this. He was just trying to help. To cover it up you laughed, trying to play this as a joke. Once you did, Tim and Taylee joined in, their comfort increasing a bit.

  
“Well, you picked a bad place for that. the community here is very close knit” Tim chuckled.

  
“Really?” you said, allowing a sip of your tea to swallow.

  
“Oh, yes they have parties _constantly_ ” Taylee laughed, while nothing about this was funny. You smiled back to her.

  
“Nothing wild of course, just classy get-togethers. Just so you can be familiar” she continued, the period to that statement was a bite into a small pink cookie. She dabbed her lip gently with a napkin, and let a smile spread.

  
“There’s one coming up, actually. I’m sure you’ll get the invitation soon” Tim added.

  
“And you can see my legendary pool skills in person, you play at all Barry?” masculinity practically oozed from Tim, and Taylee laughed a little too hard at the word “legendary”.

  
“No, sir” Barry said, lip tucked with a slow shake of his head.

  
“You’ll have to learn then” Tim had a cracked wink when he raised his mug to his lip. After you finished eating, Taylee found a way to show off her expensive kitchen remodel, while Barry was stolen away by Tim, who talked his ear off about his college frat. Barry and you passed glances occasionally, some sympathetic, some trying to stifle a laugh. After their individual rants had ended, you thought you had found an out, but they only ended up cornering you into their living room couch. You sat close to Barry, his arm around you as they went on and on. This couple surely didn’t suspect anything, they were too busy wrapped up in all the things they had to say before even bothering to look at you. When they finally seemed to run out of things to say, a stale air filled the room, all until Taylee found something to ask about.

  
“So you’re not a very physical couple are you?” she asked, the question popping her eyebrows up, and pulling her lips in.

  
“Oh, uh, I guess not” You laughed nervously, a little caught off guard. Was this not physical enough for her? Now that you looked at it, Barry almost looked afraid to be touching you, and you hadn’t made much of an effort to touch him all day.

  
“Well, it’s just because I couldn’t imagine going a day without kissing or holding my Timmy” she pushed out her lips to soften the words, making it sound like she was talking to a baby, when in reality she was just talking blarney to Tim. His cheeks went a little pink as he warmly chuckled to her. Their relationship was weird, but strangely cute. You found it endearing how they were able to like each other, when you found them annoying individually. Invasive as they were, you guessed it derived from some sort of social disconnect they had, a little stuck in the 50s, you wondered what their friends were like, you wondered if you were a first attempt at a friendship remotely their age.

  
“Same here” you said, trying to match Taylee’s tone of adoration, you looked to Barry, allowing a smile to creep onto your lip.

  
“I can’t get enough of my Bear” you knew this would annoy him, and that lead to a bump in intensity of your smile and a slight snicker to release, you still looked at him, and he held a smirk, the one he always had when he drove with you, and you sang too loudly, and you always wondered why that never aggravated him.

  
That’s when he kissed you, and you were shocked, rightfully so, at first. It was light, and quick, making you question if it even happened. But it happened, because Taylee smiled her warmest smile at you two, and Tim wrapped his arm around her and brought her closer. You couldn’t have a reaction right then, but if you could, you weren’t too sure it would have been negative. Right now you would have to put a pin in your feelings, you couldn’t lose your composure to the freak out brewing in your stomach and ruin everything. Luckily enough Tim spoke before you had time to even do that,

  
“Well, enough with this romantic junk” he laughed heartily,

  
“I suppose we’ve eaten up enough of your time, we’ll see you at the upcoming community cocktail party, correct?”

  
“Of course” you couldn’t figure out an excuse right then, especially with all that had just happened. You stood up with Barry, and moved to the door.

  
“Have a nice day!” Taylee called as you left, when the door shut behind you, you turned to Barry, who had gone ghost white.

  
“Hey” you stuttered, a smile quirking up your lip.

  
“Hey” he repeated, letting only half a second go by before he continued,

  
“Sorry if that was too much, I just thought they would, like, stop talking i-if I-”

  
“It’s fine” you sighed, a tinge of laughter in your voice.

  
“You’re a good actor”


	5. Oh No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After kissing Barry, Y/N has a realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey this took me forever for NO REASON, idk im kinda in a writing funk rn and just have been feeling :/ in general. I have more coming tho i just took forever sorry! Also i like started working so the narration matched the emotions of whatever character i was talking about idk if that makes it like confusing?? idk

It was an audible “Oh my God” that you released once you were in your own room. As if you could forget, you kissed Barry. Well, technically, _he_ kissed _you_. But specifics aside, you kissed. And maybe you’re being redundant but it was, in the most professional terms, fucking you up. Because you weren’t grossed out, or disgusted, or revolted, or- you wanted to kiss him again. God, if you could just go back to that moment, and maybe just try to find the mental space for you to remember how it felt. You ran your fingers over your own lips, wondering if you could maybe feel the place he touched, maybe it would be softer. Oh my God, _you like Barry_.

You liked his smile, and the way his hair would stick up sloppily in all different directions, you liked his scruffy beard and you even liked the dumb looking baby face he had when he shaved it. You liked his stutter. You always did, and now you were looking back on every “i-i-i” and every “b-b-but” and every word he drug out so long because he was planning out the next one, and you were swooning. Your mind was on rapid fire right now, like a slideshow on crack, everything was making sense, your breath sped as you tried sorting out everything but, God, right now the specifics didn’t matter, they _couldn’t_ matter, you knew one thing for certain and you had to repeat it over and over, _you like Barry_.

  
The initial joy was only followed by the crushing weight of reality. Simply, you were fucked. This little arrangement was the perfect way of saying to each other that you were most certainly not romantically involved, which now, was not the case for you. So not only could you not be with Barry, due to some sort of social contract you signed when conjuring up this stupid idea, you had to have the prospect of you two being a thing dangled in front of you, almost tauntingly. The worst part: _it was your fault._

  
“Hey, (y/n)?” Barry called through the door. Everything stopped, all of your thoughts skidded to a harsh halt and even your breath held itself right at the top of your chest.

  
“Yeah?” you said trying to exhale some tension, but failing.

  
“What do you want for dinner? I can cook or-”

  
“Let’s order a pizza” having him cook for you just felt wrong right now,

  
“Gotcha” Barry said back. You were good at faking causality.

  
He shared this talent, well, no he didn’t. But at least in this moment he did, I mean, it's easy in one word responses. Little did you know of the very similar trainwreck of thoughts he was having. His internal monologue was different forms of the same mantra which boiled down would be: “ _I am so fucking stupid_ ”. Not only has he outdone himself in the area of “how badly can I make myself feel”, he had possibly offended you, the one thing he never wanted to do. But he couldn’t fully regret it, because he would do anything to recapture the split second you did kiss. There he didn’t have to worry about if things were wrong, as much uncertainty surrounded you two at the moment, he found the one pocket of right in it all. For him, kissing you was clear. He wasn’t sure about how you felt, though.

  
Obviously this led to an awkward dinner. Missed glances and brushed fingers on a salt shaker only built up the character of the silence. It was a thick silence, one you had to wade through, like a murky lake of insecurities. He tried clearing it,

  
“So are we actually going to that party thing for, uh, the _community_ ” that little dose of sarcasm on the end helped a lot.

  
“yeah...” you said to him with a cringing face, you want more than anything an excuse to be with him, like _that_ , again but you were _petrified_ of making him uncomfortable. The very idea that just yesterday you were able to be so casual with him was just mind boggling.

  
“Ok, I just need a new ‘fancy’ outfit” a small lift to the corner of his mouth was so nice to see, and you couldn’t help but let a relieved laugh out, but hopefully it wasn’t coming off relieved.

  
“You could borrow one of mine” you suggested, letting a little sarcasm curl your words. You wanted so badly for this to be easy again.

  
“I don’t think anything you have could accentuate my features the right way” he began, stuffing his mouth, not letting that stop him from continuing.

  
“But I guess you need attractive features for them to be accentuated” while you laughed at Barry’s self deprecating humor, you never liked that he used it so often, you felt this way even before this new tidal wave of emotions.

  
“Oh, please” you said, a little exhausted from, well, him. He rose an eyebrow at you, because, oh god, you just implied that he was attractive. And maybe you had done this in the past but now it actually meant something, now you actually did feel that way. Now the silence was characterized by wide eyes and hard swallows. You forgot what you actually said, maybe it wasn’t even words because you had rushed it so much, but it was enough to get you back to your room.

\---

  
The next day, as Tim predicted, you would receive your invitation to this cocktail party. And the week leading up to it was hell. Barry confided in your friends, and you confided in no one, so you both were the same amount of lost.

  
Barry and you barely even talked during that time, and if you did it was ended prematurely by your nervousness. This whole situation made Barry feel poisonous, if you got too close, you would both end up hurt. So you kept your distance, not showing up to the office after work and not even really talking to your other friends. When Dan would call to check up on you, you had to make the words “nothing” and “I’m fine” sound better than they actually were. Once the day of the party rolled around, you were a little more than a little eager to be with Barry again, as much as you didn’t _want_ to be eager. You were playing with fire.

  
“Too much?” you asked Barry when finally leaving your room, you had never been to a cocktail party before, and were a little confused on what to wear. You chose a dress, a muted orange-y pink-y color that frilled a little at its edges. While you waited for Barry to respond, you stood with your knees touching, and shifting the weight on your feet anxiously.

  
“Great”, you liked how his stutter made “r”’s trill. You tried to suppress your smile, but failed, so you hid it in your palm. You walked to Barry now, trying to retie his tie, which he repeatedly got crooked. The way your breath rumbled from your chest, it bordered on a laugh. He surrendered his hands, and let them drop to the side, and you fixed his tie head on. Your eyes kept switching from the tie to him, each time you went to him his eyes met you, and of course you smiled. Things were so, well, _the same_ again. You don’t know how, but tension had melted from the both of you, and you were finally loose enough to actually be near each other. It felt like the world was on pause for tonight, all the problems that you had bottled up, were gone, but there to greet you tomorrow morning.

  
“There” you said sliding the knot up to Barry’s neck,

  
“Thanks” Barry had a warmness about him tonight, and manifested in his smile, and his laugh. You were cherishing it.

  
When you finally did show up to the party, you were immediately struck with how not-your-crowd it was. Everyone was definitely an AARP member, and were all too happy about seeing a young “couple”. Gross amounts of compliments about what a “handsome” couple you made were flung onto you two as you tried finding the eye of the storm, a hurricane of back problems and the general smell old people had. You were being rude, only inwardly though, outside you were all smiles. And for the first time in that week, you and Barry were on the same wavelength.

  
“Cheers” Barry said taking martini glass to where you were hidden in the back of the room,

  
“To what?” you said, words lifted by your smirk.

  
“Well, I suppose this is sort of a last hoorah for our little relationship” your only response was your brows lifting, and you prayed that your eyes didn’t look as hurt as they could.

  
“Well, uh, you know, everyone saw us. We’re not really going to need to be too public after this, they don’t have to be suspicious after this” you just nodded in response, anything you had to say was going to sound a lot sadder than you wanted to convey. You guessed you had to make this last little chance at being close to Barry last. Knocking back a large gulp of your drink, you looked up to him,

  
“Cheers indeed”


	6. A Pretty Convincing Couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I mean, it's called "liquid confidence" for a reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy i wrote some smut oh my god... i have sinned. Anyway here yall go, ill see u in hell

Drinking was a given originally, you expected to get _subtly_ plastered, but it wasn’t necessarily a goal, not until now. Goal was a bad word for it. As best as you could describe it, you wanted to be drunk by the end of this, because it was the only way you were going to feel remotely good by that time. Once you were tipsy, verging on sloppy, Barry took your wrist gently before you could slam back another gulp.

  
“Hey, slow down” He said with a slight chuckle,

  
“Why, don’t _you_ speed up?” You said plucking his fingers from your wrist, this was pretty sound logic in your mind at this point, but despite all of the red flags tied into this idea, Barry took your advice. He tried to get an even amount of drunk with you, and succeeded, luckily you planned to walk back home before any of this. The party from then on didn’t concern anything besides you two, at least for yourselves. If anyone tried to make conversation, you both pathetically tried to cover up exactly _how_ smashed you were, and the slightly uncomfortable guest would leave you two to your business. You weren’t giving yourself a _good_ image, but the image of couple, which was the goal.

  
You were certainly portraying a couple, at any point in the night after each of your decision making skills were dulled you could be caught with Barry’s arm around your waist, and your fingers doodling lines around his neck and shoulders. Somehow, back in your corner, you found yourself sitting on top of the piano that, thank god, was not in use. Your legs spread slightly, as they dangled in lazy circles, shoes not finding much reason to stay on your feet, besides a stuck out big toe. You had spent awhile looking at them before Barry returned, this time with a soda for each of you. You sat yours besides yourself after taking the daintiest sip in the world, as if that was going to save you from your sloppy behavior from like, five minutes ago. After taking a sip, that he tried to savor, because, oh my god, had coke ever tasted so good? Barry sat his beside yours, and you tried to keep that in mind so you didn’t make a huge, embarrassing mess.

After a minute of looking at each other, with a light sort of causality, and slight giggles peppering the air, Barry stepped between your legs, his hands, originally at his sides, let a rogue finger loose that drug up your calf. When he reached your knee, he let his palm press down on your thigh and inch, too slowly in your opinion, upwards. Once the tips of his fingers got too tangled in the fabric of your dress, you looked up to him, and he was a lot closer than before. His nose barely brushing yours, You tried to just focus on his eyes, but you couldn’t help but peek at his lips for a split second.

  
“I think I see someone looking” he said, hand bunching itself firmly in the fabric of your dress.

  
“Oh, no” you hoped this would sound… sexier (?) when it came out, but it was more of a dazed and slow response. How ever you said it did the trick. He kissed you, and while it wasn’t your first, you had butterflies like it was. Maybe because this was the first kiss you allowed your hands to smooth over his chest, and crawl behind his neck, and this was the first time you felt his fingers below your chin just to keep your head stable. Kissing was a game of readjusting, lips had to find new ways of forming to one another, and god, Barry was good at finding ways to match your lips. And he was good at finding ways to touch you in a way that made your skin feel like electricity. When Barry let go from you, it was gentle, his mouth plucked from yours softly and something about it so sweet, and his eyes fluttered back up to you. The room was focused on something at the front, if someone had actually been looking, they weren’t anymore. And if they had watched, they would’ve seen a rather obscene display of affection, but that wasn’t really in your stream of thoughts right now. You pushed yourself from the piano, and began to walk to the door, when you turned back to see a confused and still Barry, you had to go back to grab his hand.

  
You had to drag him the whole walk home, which had seemed so short at the beginning of the night, but now was agonizing. But determination alone powered you through, stairs were hard when you were drunk, but a minor slip was your only hindrance, you hadn’t really payed attention to how Barry was doing, he swung from you, stumbling, only latched on by his arm. Once you had finally made your way to your front door, you slammed your own back against it, and with the building momentum in your arm, you pulled him over you. Next, you grabbed his tie and tugged him down, this kiss was fierce, and strong. The point wasn’t savoring the feeling, but rather just getting the contact you so desperately craved. His reaction time a little slow, he stood stunned for a minute, but allowed himself to relax, this is when he showed _his_ fierceness.

  
This had been such a long time coming for him, and he knew you were both drunk, but without hindsight he was willing to do anything to just _touch_ you. Barry slipped his arm beneath you, and pressed himself tightly to you, the line separating your bodies pressed itself very thin. Your kisses were choppier now, but just as desperate. He then yanked one of your legs up around his hip, moved his grip to below your ass, and moved the other leg accordingly. Through the mess of sloppy kisses and fumbling hands, he found a way to open the door, and pressed your weight to the closest wall.

  
“Fuck” he almost _growled_ , after letting one kiss go, he let you to the floor again, but you were unsure of how you were even able to stand, your knees buckling.

  
“Go to-uh my-” he started, going to shut your front door, you left before he could even finish, and once you got to his room, it was merely seconds before he was back, you assumed he sprinted. He adhered himself to you again, and you shrugged your arms over his shoulders, but before you could get too comfortable in that position, you felt his fingers loose grip and re-grip over your zipper. You slunk your arms back to get the zipper started, and then moved to undoing his tie, after picking the knot seemed futile, you just loosened it, and threw it off him. It wasn’t long before you found your clothes pooled at your feet, and a bra, which almost seemed like it was trying to figure itself off of you, the way the straps slipped down your arm. Before you could undo anymore of the buttons on Barry’s shirt he kissed you again, this one quicker, but deep, the kind that made time feel slower.

  
Once he had gotten down to his boxers, he pushed you to the bed, and kissed down your frame. Barry wasn’t the type of person anyone would ever picture in this type of setting, but now that you saw it you wondered why. He was messy, and breathless, but that made him all the more alluring. You never liked a facade of macho-ness or the “skilled lover” persona, you preferred Barry’s angle: the “I just need to touch you right now” type.

  
He returned to your mouth again for one of his signature long and dizzying kisses, while you were drunk, nothing about your physical senses were dulled. You felt every brush and every bump, and lingered on all of it. Through it, he pulled your panties down as far as he could manage, and you helped the rest of the way. Everything about how he moved was jittery, and quick, like when he spread your thighs, but he found ways to savor the most amazing (as shitty of an adjective as it was) moments, like when he moved to kiss the inside of your thighs, and let his lips drag circles in them before moving to your clit. You didn’t think Barry had well, ever had so much practice with his tongue, so you guessed he was just a natural. And his beard was not helping either, it was a good addition to every kiss you had, and a completely sinister one to your current situation. With the sensory war had been brewing down there, it took no time to work you up, and Barry was quick to return to your lips, but still keeping his fingers pretty active, video games, you guessed, trained him well. This is when you found yourself toying with the hem of his boxers, and he helped the rest of the way. Your breath was still when he first entered you, only letting a somewhat embarrassing noise from the back of your throat escape. When he first rocked into you, he dove to your neck, and left an itchy trail of kisses. And then the _whispering_. Barry, who was not talkative in nature, had a lot to say during sex. You had lost most of it, but what you couldn’t get out of your mind was when you felt hot against your collar:

“I want to fuck you everyday for the rest of my life” This drove you insane, and you tried to keep yourself still, but ultimately failed. Some thing about how roughly, and sincerely he said this combined with the bone rattling thrusts he was distributing was too much for your body to handle, you came shortly after, and the wiggle in your hips that was conjured sent him right over the edge too. With that, the talking stopped. With the combination of being drunk, and the exhaustion overcoming you, you both fell asleep easy, burrowed against his chest, you had gotten the best sleep you had had in a while.

  
\---

  
It was morning. Birds and sunshine and all that jazz, and finding yourself tangled up in, well, Barry. You remember everything, and while you didn’t regret a thing, you knew this was going to ruin everything. And the coward in you tried to slip from Barry and leave without him noticing, but hangover and stealth are not normally paired together.

  
“(y/n), wait” was muffled in through the door, you let yourself lean forward and catch a breath of some kind. Nothing was going to be the same again. As quickly as you got this place, you were going to be gone. But that didn’t even matter in comparison to how you were going to lose everything you had with Barry, you couldn’t bare to look at him. You waited for him to give up calling your name, and with that, you started packing your things.


	7. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You two have to face each other eventually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this whole series was shorter than i first anticipated but like i feel p good about it. Its a little gooey of an ending but w/e. If yall have any reccomendations for any dan or barry stuff lemme know in the comments??

You don’t really know where you were going, and you didn’t pack well enough to stay where ever that was for too long, but all you really needed was to not see Barry right now. You didn’t want to have the “This was a mistake talk” which you were certain you were going to have. You were disgusted with yourself, as simple as that sounds, it couldn’t match the intense guilt you felt. The lines of consent were so far blurred at that point that you felt like a monster. You tried not to get too physical with your frustration when you drove deeper into LA, one swerve and the next time Barry saw you would be in a casket, you weren’t too against this idea.

  
As dramatic as that was you stood by your feelings, _you could not see Barry_. Not for now at least. When you found yourself not too far from Dan’s place, you decided to go there, a little too mindful of how much of a burden you were being. But you really couldn’t let that stop you at this point.

  
“(y/n), hey, where have you been? Everyone has been like, super confused” Dan asked when you showed up at the door, he then took note of your duffle bag.

  
“Oh” he elongated, and you could see the puzzle pieces mashing themselves together in his mind.

  
“Come in” he said somberly, but almost like he expected this. You wondered why he always had high doubts of this working out. But Dan knew about your little arrangement, and only expected trouble to come from this. When seeing your bag he assumed that Barry had done something to freak you out, and you were trying to calm down for awhile. Little did he know it was quite the opposite.

  
And Barry was in even worse shape than you. I mean you had just left, no explanation or anything. So Barry, as in his nature, conjured up elaborate stories and convinced himself that you were never coming back. His thoughts were similar to yours in the consent department. He wanted to be with you, but never like that. You both found separate ways to wallow in your guilt. Barry called in “sick” to Dan, who obviously saw that he was lying, the major piece of evidence sitting in his living room. And you, you tried sleeping, but your mind was too talkative to let that happen.

  
“I should probably grab some more things, I didn’t even bring a toothbrush… Is Barry at the office yet?” you complained from your non-nap at the couch.

  
“Yeah” Dan lied, he was going to make you two work this out if it was gonna kill him. It was weird and pathetic of you two to dance around your feelings like this, and while he only knew Barry’s half, he could assume you liked him back. And if you didn’t, you both could be grown ups about it. But _you did_ , which only stirred the pot of this confusing love stew. Dan drove you to your place, distracting you enough so you wouldn’t notice Barry’s car in the parking lot.

  
“I’ll wait out here ok?” Dan said almost coddling you, hopefully not letting on that Barry was sulking inside. You nodded in response, and opened the door. You were majorly focused on your feet when you first entered, and only lifted your head when you felt the door slam behind you, Dan being the culprit. When you turned back to the room, a stunned Barry stood across from you. His stutter began to let his lips tremble, trying to find what to say to you. But what could he say? And what could you say? You turned back around and tried to open the door, you couldn’t.

  
“Dan come on!” Your nearly screamed,

  
“Not until you two work this out” he said, tugging the knob a little tighter. You turned back to Barry, your breathing still and choppy. His hair was a wreck, and it was clear he hadn’t showered from last night, but to be fair, you didn’t either.

  
“I’m sorry” he started. This was it, the “we’re just friends” talk you had been waiting for. You stayed silent, as childish as that was. He let it be quiet for a minute while his eyes darted, trying to find a way to continue.

  
“D-Do you remember how we met?” He started. Like you said before, you didn’t. He took your silence as an answer.

  
“Well, it was in a M-Michaels. And you were buying a smock for your new job at the rec center. And I-I-I was stupid enough not to get a cart, and I was carrying a mountain of prop stuff for Dan’s video and-”

  
“Barry what does this have to-”

  
“P-Please, just let me do this” his words were firm, and a little harsh, but nothing about them menacing.

  
“You bumped into me, and I d-dropped, like, everything. And you helped me pick it up, and e-even carry it to the counter. When I first saw y-you, your hair was dirty, and up in a bun, and you didn’t have any makeup on, and you kept insisting you looked horrible. But you didn’t, God, I don’t know how long ago that was, but that day, I met an awesome person, a person I wanna like, be with” Through all of this, his hand gestures were crazy, and sporadic, much like his train of thought, and he spoke mostly to the ground, but on his last word his eyes rose to you.

  
You were relieved for one thing. And giddy, and excited. You couldn’t help but let a goofy smile spread on your face, and immediately let a hand cover it. Without saying anything, you walked to Barry, and you pulled him down by the collar, and you kissed him. His eyes fluttered closed and he moved his hands to your cheek, you don’t know how Barry was able to hold the hands of time still, but you thanked God he had this talent. After an amount of time you were unable to determine, Dan slid in as quietly as he could manage,

  
“So everything is ok now?” he tried to use his most innocent voice. You pulled yourself from Barry and turned to him, he was lucky you were too happy to kill him. Barry nodded and Dan turned, you could hear from the hallway:

  
“Good, (y/n) I’m getting your shit from the car” you assumed he packed it when you weren’t looking. You went back to kiss Barry again, this one softer. Barry put his forehead to yours and smiled,

  
“Thank God this is over, I suck at pretending”


End file.
